Nurturing Mental Health During Holidays
The holidays are not a joyous or relaxing time for everyone. Holidays can bring up feelings of stress, loneliness, anxiety, and grief for many. The pressure to create perfection or “do it right” can cause people to feel overwhelmed, bring financial strain, and create constant comparisons to others and the past.
Holidays also mark an anniversary reminder for many of those that they have lost and how their lives have changed over the years. This nostalgia can be heart-warming and thought provoking, but it can also be sad and heavy during a time when others might have an expectation of pure joy and cheer.
Whether you have family and friends that you choose to spend the holidays with or not, here are some things to keep in mind to nurture your mental health during the season:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: All of Them
There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling sad, angry, hurt, bored, or anything you might be feeling about the Holidays. There are no wrong or invalid feelings: it's all fair game, and you don’t need to feel shame or guilt for not feeling Holiday cheer or joy in the way that you might feel you’re “supposed” to according to advertisements and commercials (remember, there’s a lot of money in making us feel bad about ourselves–and it usually involves big purchases that are reported to bring more joy and cheer).
Where Can You Take the Pressure Off? Do you (or others) have expectations of the Holidays that might be creating more stress than they’re worth for you?
It’s ok to turn down that white elephant at work if it feels too overwhelming for you. It’s ok to rain check on cookie baking if it feels like a chore. Do you really need to decorate everything immediately, or are you ok with just hanging up a wreath or putting out a few throw pillows this year?
What Do Holidays Mean to You, and What Do You Want Them to Be About?
If holidays for you are really about feeling joyful and enjoying your time with loved ones, it’s ok to shift your activities to ones that will actually bring about those feelings rather than trying to force yourself to find joy in something that’s just not your thing.
If your family is driving you up the wall, consider that you don’t have to subject yourself to family time if it doesn’t feel like your boundaries are being respected. For many the Holidays are a battle between trying to take care of themselves and meet the expectations of others. It’s ok to choose you.
There are no rules about how holidays must be spent, and this might be the best kept secret in our culture. You don’t have to buy presents, you don’t have to put up decorations, you don’t even have to see anyone if you don’t want to. It’s ok for the Holidays to be just normal days for you, or days where you focus on taking care of yourself.
How Can You Honor All of Your Feelings?
If you’re struggling with grief during the Holiday season, you may feel that you need to stuff it down and be joyful in order to protect others around you or to protect yourself from feeling uncomfortable–especially if it might seem like you’re the only one feeling this way. I promise you that you’re not.
Consider what you might actually do to honor these feelings if there wasn’t any fear about others expectations or reactions. Is there a way that you can honor meaningful memories? Can you create new traditions or rituals that feel more in line with what this time is for you?
It’s Ok To Just Survive
If you can’t find a way to enjoy the Holidays at all, that’s ok too. These days aren’t the end all, be all of how you are as a person–they’re simply a recurring snapshot each year to reflect in the midst of themed rituals and decorations.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns during this time, don't hesitate to reach out to our practice. We're here to support you on your journey toward better mental well-being, whatever that looks like for you.
